My First Guy - 2

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
                                                                                                 Brendan Francis Behan

Well, chilling Sunday night, finally it is beginning to breeze now after a burning hot day, 27°C here, and I think I have been in the country long enough to take this as one of the hottest days you could have on earth.

Pouring a glass of Spain's finest red, turn on the radio, perfect conditions to settle in memories of my first intimacy with a guy.

Followed my Last Post.

After J's private dance, I went back to my seat and feeling a bit relaxed and cheerful now. Grabbed another beer and sitting at my table for a bit 'show', this is when E came on stage. E is a muscly beefy guy with a shaved head, with a 185-188cm / 6 ft 1 height, I would say yes he is a big guy. Different from other big guys strippers with their eyebrows dedicated maintained and groomed and dance like a big woman without the boobs shaking their arses all over the place, E was different. He was a man, a big man, dance sexy as a man, stood firm and with hands sliding over his chest slowly with the rhythm of this song (Eye from Smashing Pumpkin), while dancing, he also wandered around on the stage while taking off his clothes one by one, by the by he wasnt wearing much anyway, then exposed his 'XL' in front of all.

To be completely honest, I did not feel much about E at his show, partly because the guys took me to the club kept murmuring to me about stuff that I wasnt interested at all, and more importantly I think generally I am much more attracted to naturally athletic built lads with a next door lad face rather than guys with big muscles, that is a bit too much for me, generally, and last reason my eyes did not particularly landed on E for long was because it was a stripper club where naked men were on stage one after another, my eyes and mind got used to it like 3 minutes after watching the show where the curiosity/excitement before entering the club had completely gone, just like you walk into Tescos and would not take a second look on a cabbage, bad metaphor, but you know what I meant.

And just while I was talking to the guys at the table, again, surprisingly, E came straight to my table and took a sit right next to me, (I guess my favourite shirt secretly helped draw a lot of attention onto me, well done!), we engaged in a bit small talk, and he offered me to a private dance, and I said 'No'. It was fairly understandable, as previously I had an awesome service from J who fitted perfectly my profile for a guy and I was happy to close my night with it and E was beefy muscle guy that I found less physically attractive, so No. Interestingly, he seemed quite disappointed, well of course he lost a small cash-in, but most strippers would not show much disappointment as they seemed to be cruising around the whole night in the club to get clients to have private dances and I assumed being declined was part of the deal? Anyway, he went away, and 10 minutes later, E came back again to sit next to me and chat to me, and offered me again to be with him privately, and this time I said Yes, not because how he looks, but because who he is, I liked him, because he behaved completely as a man, no drama, and with composure.

It was a short time with him privately, and it was fun, then I gathered the courage to ask him whether he wanted to go back to my hotel to have an extended version of this dance, and I made it very clearly that I was not after sex, of any kind, I was just curious and just exploring, and he thought for a few seconds, and he said Yes, so after he went on his last performance on stage, we were in cab together heading to my hotel in the City.

After getting into my room, we had a bit further talk, and E started to turn on the TV to find a song, then started performing another private dance for me, which was great. After the song, we soon landed on bed and both naked and my hands was on his thing, and I think he was really excited that time so it was enormous, both in terms of length and width, and I think it is reasonably to assume it would be the largest I have seen in so far, and got very solid chances in the Top 5 largest even counting the rest of my life ahead. However we did not do much, E tried to give me a kiss and I avoided, so it was purely a man's body with another, not inside, no kissing, nothing, just touching, and strangely it felt so right. I guess back to that time, naively, I thought I was only curiously about guys' body and the feeling of guys fooling around like mates and I thought the only thing I wanted from a guy was just touching a guys' thing, that was it, and looking back then I would say I was just going through the 'Curious' stage to guys.

So for the next hour or so we were just cuddling, exploring each other and chatting, which can be described as the pure definition of the phrase ' Sleeping Together'.  It was such a good memory that the next evening E also came over after gym, so we spent another 'Sleeping Together' night involves nothing really sexually but just a bit teasing stripping and w@nking. I still remember vividly two men's body closely together on the bed on the high floors of a hotel in downtown Montreal where the certain were not fully drawn that made me wonder whether theres some people just watching our intimacy remotely from another building. E was strong and also gentle, and like a real man. It turned out he was bi and have been with girls on and off while taking a job in the gay stripper club purely for the cash.

I think from that moment when I truly enjoyed my times with E that set the foundation that I would just fall to guys who behave like a man, or fall to Bi guys. Upon leaving, he gave me the name of his aftershave which I found particularly sexy wearing by him and also he kindly gave me his real name and we Facebooked each other, guess not a atypical finishing with a stripper normally, and he left my room with a nice kiss on my cheek (as I was still not prepared to kiss a guy, even to such a sexy as E).

So my first guy left me after two nights 'together', leaving me his nice smell which for a long time he was reminded by the same aftershave I bought after returning to London, and missed him occasionally from reading his Facebook posts and pics with his mates and sexy bikini gfs, and most importantly, thinking about his sexy dances when listened to Eye, recalling how sexy the experience was with him, the very intimacy between two males, our sweat melting together, and even without sex, those two nights were just, absolutely right.....

I lie
I wait
I start
I hesitate
I am
I breath
I melt
I think of me
Is it any wonder I can't sleep?
All I have is all you gave to me
Is it any wonder I found these
Through you
Turn to the gates of heaven, to myself feel down
Turn away from Eye
It's not enough
Just a touch
It's not enough
I taste
I love
I call
I bleed enough
I hate
I might
I was
I want too much
Is it any wonder I can't sleep?
All I have is all you gave to me
Is it any wonder I found these
Through you
Turn to the gates of heaven, to myself feel down
Turn away from Eye
It's not enough
Just a touch
It's not enough
Just a touch
It's not enough
Just a touch
It's not enough
Just a touch

My First Guy - 1

                               Virginity can be lost even by a thought.

                                                                             Saint Jerome

Well here we go again, finished work late tonight, hit the gym, and jumping into the Blog to keep the stripping followed my last post.

Before I jumping straight into my memories, I would like to invite you to listen to this song while reading this blog, it is Eye from Smashing Pumpkin, this song was from my 1st experience with guy, as explained later below.

My first time with a guy was years ago during my university life, where I started to work out both my crush on girls and guys, and it happened when I was visiting Canada, a beautiful country by the way.  I was with quite a few mates and we went on a road trip and I was clearly in a good mood, then we arrived in Montréal, where I decided to stay for a few days while my mates went on their trip elsewhere in Québec, so left me alone in a sexy City, gay capital of Canada maybe?

On my first night alone, I decided to venture the Gay Village in downtown Montréal, I did not have a clue about where to go, so Internet came handy and I logged online to a local forum, and very soon established a contact with 2 guys who were keen to show me around, so we decided to meet and they however made the decision to take me, this newbie, to a gay strip club, which turned out to be, as it advertised itself, as ''Best nude male dancers & male strippers in the world'(will not post the name here just for potential legal implications, they could be painful!), this is where I met one of the sexist stripper E and had my very 1st intimacy with another male on the planet.

After having a stamp on the back of my hand and a few arguments about my age at the reception(as always, yes I do look young and I always take it as a compliment). I still recall vividly the first sight I went into the bar, and a stripper's right in front of me on the stage facing me with his glorious excitement, we found a table quite close to the front and settled down with 3 beers, billed by me (Oh, sorry I happen to have a good memory as well). I was asked by guys who took me there how I felt about these strippers on stage, and I honestly told them that I was not excited or turned on as I thought I would be. That was 100% honest, somehow having gorgeous men stripping right in front of me, with every bits of it filled with sexiness and masculinity, but my male hormone was on strike.

The first stripper caught my attention was J, who had this amazing athletic body, around 177cm, and well-groomed face, and most importantly the gleam of absolute sexy that unique to a male from his eyes, and he stripped and moved his body right to the sexy rhythm played in the bar, hot and authentic. This is the time the guys told me that you pay a small amount of money and take strippers to backstage to have a 'private dance', I was pondering with an uncertain decision, as you can imagine why, however, the next thing I knew was that J somehow came to sit at the chair right next to me.

Later I knew that strippers would target customers in the bar to sit with them, chat and try to offer private dance, but I had no idea then. So we had a bit chat on where I was from, etc, and my 'English Accent' (I would say I have mixture accent from both my mother tongue and British accent'), and then he moved on asking me if I would like a private dance with him, as he said he like my body, my shirt (I trusted him on that because I was wearing my favourite shirt!) and he liked to have private dance with young lads (this is quite self-explained). I was hesitated, my nerves were on edge a bit, but not surprisingly I said yes.  So he took me into the backstage, where it was also dark, and took me into a cubicle, drawn the curtains, and started to move his hot body against mine and dance to the music while stripping himself. I was of course in mixture of emotions, nervousness, excitement, etc, and when he was stripped off to his brief, he took my hand to put on it, and took it off, then for the first time, my hands landed on a man's thing, it was a bit flaccid, but big, around 6''inch I would say, and then he rubbed his 6 pack against my body so hard that I found a bit hard to breathe, partly from the excitement though. For the next 1 minute I felt like in a fantasy dream of my own.

After the happy private dance, I asked J whether he wants to go back to my Hotel with me, and I told him that I was NOT looking for sex just some light fun like this, but unfortunately he said he has a boyfriend and also the bar policy would not allow them to go visit clients to avoid any troubles.

So this is my first brief time with a guy, however, the real first guy I had my experience was with E, the stripper came to me after this private dance with J, which I would have to leave to next time I write my blog as it is 1:00am and I have another busy day that needs my stamina and clear head to build my spreadsheets for work.

Good night for now London.

My First Girl

Well, here we are. Feeling like am going to strip myself in front of the Internet now. Thousands people doing it online everyday, never thought I would be one of them someday.

My first wet dream back to high school, was with a girl, and based on my standards then, or conventionally speaking, not a very beautiful one, but it was good, I meant really really good in the dream that I can still remember the smile I woke up with. However when the dream proceeded close to the finishline, I woke up. I  still remembered how pissed I was when woke up at that 'critical moment'.  I always believed that one reason I had that dream with that particular non-beauty girl was mainly due to that although she was slightly out of her figure, she was quite coquettish when she was talking to me, and that clearly did the trick.

Soon after that dream, I had been flirting and messing around with girls as usual, and then had my first time sleeping with a girl. The girl clearly had a crush on me as others around me kept telling me that as well, then one night we engaged in a chatting online, which was just a bit wired because she was in the same school accommodation as I lived in, then we were daring each other whether she would come to my flat (meaning to have sex but we both didn't say that word), then I heard the knock, then next second I know she was sitting right next to me in my dark room.

To be honest, I didn't have a clue how to play the next move then I grabbed a can of beer, drank it, then next thing I knew was that we slept together.

Is this the end and happy story? Well, I wish.  If there were chance that I could do a survey on unsuccessful first night among people, I would definitely take that opportunity to find how many people were as unfortunate as me.

So yes, maybe because of the beer, but I think is more because of the nervous nerve, as I wasn't really physically attracted by that girl, and also wasn't mentally ready to have my first sex that night, or shall we say that minute as she just showed up at my door right out of the door, so yes, all in all, I was unperformed shall we say? Thank god I still know some tricks to please a woman, thanks for all the porn I have been watched along the prior years, so the girl was by and large happy, whoop.

That was close to the end of my college life, hence we hooked up a few times afterwards, and I would say that after the 1st night, we had good sleeping together experiences and I indeed enjoyed it, plus she was even as proactive as me towards this, not much to complain about it really.

Woody Allen said 'Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions', well, I guess truly indeed, as after my first time, the question raised by my sexuality then has never stopped pounding into my life and insert a giant question mark in my life for years.

Well, btw am watching the Olympic closing ceremony now, what the heck are the Indian dancing with Eric Idle, it is just not right watching this while recalling my first sex, change the song and dance please?

Stories continue ...