Sunday, 21 October 2012

The Old Topic

I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being--that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.
 - 'Concerning the Jews'   Mark Twain

Race, a long, old topic that long enough to make it sometimes a stinky one. Decided to write a blog on this on this Sunday night before going to bed, was driven by a forum post I came across earlier this week and also by some of incidents throughout last couple of months.

Earlier this week, I stumbled into a forum post on a Gay/Bi website which was trying to spark a conversation about dating Asian guys, and as a SE Asian, naturally I clicked in to see how people commented on this issue, and interestingly they can generally be grouped into these categories:
- Common Senses: 'I think people should not judge someone simply by color' '
- Humanist and Democrat and probably great entertainer potential : 'I am an equal f***er'
- Complainers: 'My race made me so unattractive'
- Complainers 2: 'Every two weeks the whole Asian thing comes up'
- Scientists: ' About the Peanut size stuff.....scientists has measured Peanut sizes across all races....conclusions are ............'
- Opposer: 'I hate Asians'
- Pointless: 'I think all races should be the same, and I think the term 'Hot' is for white guys or Latino'
- Supporters: 'I love them they are hot'
- Extremists: 'Racism.........' blah blah blah

So pretty much opinions cover 360 degrees of all arguments, so cant be bothered to list them all, also gives me no intention to add anything to the forum whatsoever. Am sure a simply Introduction to Philosophy will get all these straight nice and clear.

However I do can share a bit of my own limited experiences so far, while having a glass of Austrilia's finest red, so you are welcome to read it with a pinch of salt (any relations between the wine and salt? I guess no, just think 'red' rhymed with 'Salt' ).

Since later this year I decided to start my exploring journey with guys, I would not say the process was as smooth as I expected. In terms of being minorities in this country, I think I must be joking with myself if I said that there were no difference as being a S.E. Asian as other races just for trying to be more positive or mad anyone feel better or just doing a grand big talk. I agree with that many guys online keep saying this whole race topic is boring and its 21 century and just move on and thinking most guys posting these topics where just whining over an non-issue. Well, to be completely honest (I have to, otherwise there's no point am writing here anymore, enough hiding and silence enough in life), only soly based on my own experiences, I have to say that stereotype about Asian guys is generally common, and normally it doesnt favour me. This is not an emotional statement, or mix with any anger or whatever, its pointless, this is simply a natural conclusion based on the simple fact that after hundred times when people close the chat room abruptly after asking me to confirm my race, or reading many profiles directly saying that 'No Asians'. If any emotions was included in my statement, it was just simple disappointment.

Am I bothered about this, well, yes and no. Saying 'Yes' because it indeed affected my life, and from time to time I just felt disappointed towards where Life is leading me to as when I simply showing nice gesture from me a human being to another, people shut the down straight away not because Who I Am but because What I am; Saying 'No' because rationally I think my unsuccessful experiences with guys are not soly lied on 'stereotypes' but also the fact that I am so protective and discreet about being 'out' to strangers that I do not normally post face pics to anyone, and I tend to stay away from Gay/Bi scene etc. Also, being completely honest with myself, and be true with myself, I do think white guys have a good bone frame and face frame that I just fall for those guys with a gorgeous body and blue eyes, makes me just have them in my arms (or be in their arms) brush their hair and feed them grapes. (Yes I do know that guys aint moneys lol)

Recently I was approached by a gorgeous white guy online who seemed to be very attractive, and we had good chats online so he invited me to a meet up for drinks, so we scheduled everything and he even confirmed one day before our meet-up date he would come, then I was left in the pub for an hour and half for nothing, having 2 bottles of Asahi myself. Then we engaged another talk after that, and he apologised with blah blah reason and so we scheduled another meet up for drinks, and then I stood at the front door of one of my favourite pubs in London for 1 hour until I was shivering in cold wind in London, and then came back with a cold text suggesting he didnt realise my race until just now.  Same tragedy repeated again this weekend, where I was left travelled to pub in the rain myself and returned after a glass of red on my own for 40 minutes and came home with disappointment after reading a cold online message saying that he just realised my race and he would not be interested in a meet up anymore.

P.S. If someone thinks am meeting guys around just for casual 6, then I strongly advise him/her to think twice before reaching that conclusion.

Well, I think I feel sorry for the young man whos walking home in the chilly rain with disappointments and confusions about what the hell had happened in his life and where are the right directions, which was myself.  I now had my disappointments here during these two meet-ups, which happen to be my limited meet-up experiences with guys, and my hopes of meeting some decent Gay/Bi guys and to have Gay/Bi friends in life, had been let down. However I think it is silly if I just stop being myself simply because these silly things.

I know what kind of guys/girls I falls for, so I have to follow my heart and be true with myself. I work hard to have a decent life, workout hard to have a decent body and stick to my principles to be a real man in life, being a decent human being.  So I guess I just need to chin up, keep calm, move on, and have a little bit faith in life.

If all these still would not lead me to what I want, I guess I will just have to thank God or whoevers up there for humouring me at the end , at least from this way I wouldn't regret for being true to myself and for running towards what I want.

Well, it wasnt my intention to have this post a bit silly or depressed as it sounds, I wasn't actually this concerned about this topic or my recent life apart from incidental disappointments from time to time, guess am a bit moody from writing all these after midnight around 2am in London and all my writing is so irrational and unlogically, completely off my style lol, and knowing another day of spreadsheets meetings and crunching numbers day is about to begin!

Anyway to summarise, stereotypes does not favor me is a fact, I am disappointed at this initial stages of exploring with guys, and I will move on and stick to what I believe and what I want, be a man, get over it, and work hard and work out hard, as I always believe, a decent human being will be most attractive.

Next immediate step, get the 6 pack straight, nice and neat.

Have to put a period to whining now, SLEEP!

Slow down, you crazy child
you're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You'd better cool it off before you burn it out
You've got so much to do and
Only so many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told..
That you can get what you want or you get old
You're gonna kick off before you even
Get halfway through
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Slow down, you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight
Too bad but it's the life you lead
you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong, you know
You can't always see when you're right. you're right

You've got your passion, you've got your pride
but don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Slow down, you crazy child
and take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile
it's all right, you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize,..Vienna waits for you?
And you know that when the truth is told
that you can get what you want or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get half through
Why don't you realize,. Vienna waits for you
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?


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