Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Lemongrass midnight

Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.

- Oscar Wilde

Approaching midnight now. The world calms down very swiftly as time tickling away on a typical Tuesday workday evening, like a very disciplined boy knowing his bedtime well. To me, this seems like an ideal night: no drunk screamers on the street, and people are rushing out of gym after 20:00 giving me much more space into exercising. The evening was also not be disturbed by any party invitation calls, no emails flooding in, like someone carefully planned this out, or my Internet was cut off? Ohhh, wait, it is actually fine. Phew.

In such a pleasant evening, I could not wait but to throw myself into the swimming for 40 mins which was so refreshing that I think I still smells a bit bleaching from the pool 4 hours ago, such a shame that people can create all kinds of perfume or fragrance for so many things and into so many products but they seems quite forgetful to add a bit 'smell of Ocean' into any swimming pool water, so I have regular Bleaching smelling, 3 times a 

The last couple of months had been absolutely hectic times, I was like a moth flying in and out of frustration, excitements and happiness. But all in all, things are looking up and bright, which at least comforting to me. Finally decide to leave a moment to myself tonight before slipping into my dream to write up something here.

Recently personal life has been a very empty page to me, despite loads loads of messages receiving on various apps and handful messages exchanged with some people. High 6 drive turned into gym efforts successfully, which in return contributed to the more and more solid physique that I am going to be very proud of in the next couple of months. It caught me a bit surprise, however I believe it is a good thing that I gradually stepped away from the g@y dating apps, as I started to lose interest in pointless greetings and rarely I could really find anyone who can really caught my attention. Increasing felt that the little profile page of these dating apps is really like a marketing tool and if so, many people just failed tragically in doing so. Speedy and instant hook up really is not my thing these days, as my days at work and night in gym have already exhausted my energy, plus my hands are so handy so really there is not much space for something extra. Having said this, I came into a surprise encounter with a guy on an app who I met in a business occasion in real life. Let us call him 'S' for now.

The first time I saw S was in a business networking event where I was looking for the venue and he was standing outside the venue with this friend. He and his strong solid big muscly arms. The first glance at him made me think that I wish I knew how to train to get those arms done, while walking towards him to interpose into their conversation to ask for clarification about the venue location. He clearly paused and answered my question and jumped straight back into his chat with his mate. During the network events, somehow I was sitting next to him briefly and we had a brief chat again, and my vague memory told me that we shook hands twice, first time as normal social greeting, and I guess my little inner lust jumped out and created the second leaving handshake myself. I really fancied the two strong big arms and bulging biceps, either as an physical attraction but also from a normal person who is in training to get into solid shape.  One night I opened a dating app briefly, and received a message from a profile photo of solid chest and strong upper body without a head, and after a brief 'hi', a headshot came back, and I instantly smiled and laughed, it was a photo of S's head on my phone screen with a gentle smile and posed like a formal ID pass or office shot.  What a nice coincidence and I then noticed that he was living just around 350 meters away from me. My first instinct was that 'is him using the same gym as mine? Could we become gym buddy so I can learn from his training to get the same strong arms?'. Well, of course I followed up on the conversation, and I found out that we had many similar experiences, career wise, and he was interviewing with some top consulting firms and investment banks which I had some bizarre failures and proud victories to share with him, and we were also in similar professional background and we even shared one major sports in common. So smooth chatting along the way so I decided to let him know that I met him before chatting on the app without reminding him too much about our meeting, and clearly I did not leave a strong impression back then, so he could not really figure out who I was, but he did not get to the bottom of it, which was good for me as I am not sure how I would handle this 'new neighbour' 'relationship', so for example, if I did not meet him on dating app, then I ran into him on the street nearby then I would say 'Hi', since it was a good chatting with him at the business event. However now since we chatted on a g@y dating app, then should I say 'Hi' or not when seeing each other on the street? Probably not, because somehow I would feel wired, like I was shouting on the street to scream: I wanna do you and your arms. It is just like coming from from swimming pool with smelling of bleach on me, coming off a dating app to reality would make most meet ups with people somehow comes off a bit 6sual, no matter what the original genuine intentions are. 

So me and S kept exchanging messages not only on the app, but also with texts, on things that we felt commonly interested in. The whole situation still sits in the comfort zone that I knew him but he does not really remember who I am. I occasionally would think about meeting him in person and what would things like, but I guess I do not really have strong drive to meet him as well, since our last encounter did not leave a mark on his side, I doubt any meeting offline would be a good idea. To be honest, to pair up with him in gym training was actually weigh much more than wanting something extra from S. So I guess there will not be further stories to tell between me and S, he is just a sexy young man with sexy biceps who exchanges social messages with a stranger from time to time on the phone. 

Speaking here, it reminds me that in last of months, I also met a senior banker who discovered his sexualities in mid-40s and a young decent opera singer who is settling down in London. However the stories are to be told for another night. Now it is time to call it a day.

By the by, I quoted Oscar Wilde at the beginning as a response to the brave come out message from Tom Daley and that is also a message I want to tell to myself. I am not a massive fan of Tom or not even a supporter or such, however I think it is a courageous move for him to be honest with his choice and not afraid to step up to what he believes in. From this boy, I think that I should really learn from him to be more open and to embrace the freedom comes after it. However, it is always easier to be said than done. 

Lemongrass midnight? Nothing special, simply put a steamer on with lemongrass essential oil, then you can have one too, in an unnoisy Tuesday evening or at the tail of the sunset of Sunday, highly recommended. :)

Good night.

No comments:

Post a Comment